Grandpa had exacting standards of manly conduct. First and foremost: men do not hug other men. I am unsure of what exactly would happen should such a thing take place in Grandpa's presence (perhaps a gruff clearing of the throat and a to-the-point explanation of The Behavior and Duties and Rules of Conduct for Men Who Are Lads No Longer).
Peter was probably the first to face the refusal to hug, but I don't remember it. What I do remember is little Philip bounding up to Grandpa for his customary 'hello' hug and being denied the embrace. "You're no' a li'l boy any more," Grandpa told him. "You're becomin' a man, and men shake hands." His gnarled and calloused hand reached and grabbed the little, soft white hand and gave a demonstrative flourish. Philip's face crumbled slightly in disappointment, but he rallied and shook Grandpa's hand obediently.
Matthew experienced a similar upheaval when he was about eleven or twelve; he isn't as demonstrative as Philip, and he probably was expecting it at some point, so it didn't seem to affect him quite as much.
So, when we all visited Grandma and Grandpa, Mom and us girls got big hugs and kisses when we walked in the door. Then we watched as Philip opened his arms with a teasing smile, only to accept the extended hand with a grinning scoff and firm handshake and exchange of verbal niceties; Matthew smiled ruefully as he accepted a handshake, well aware that the rest of us viewed the whole production with fond amusement. Dad just grabbed the extended hand, and then cheated by sneaking a loving shoulder pat in during their ever-enthusiastic exchange of manly 'how are you's.
It never really became a problem for us, but there were some definite moments for amusement over the years when one of our boys - or Dad - forgot the rule and reached for a hug. Loving, but firm disapproval met those gestures. Oh, right; I forgot. Here's an extra-manly handshake and an apologetic grin. Grins all 'round once he's 'manned up' to his mistake.
Yep. Grandpa had his quirks, but he was one of the manliest men I've ever known. And it had nothing to do with handshakes.
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